Sephiroth Quits!
by Laguna's-Underwear
Summary: So what happens when our oh so evil resident bish Sephy decides he's too good for FF7? The directors get a replacement!


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#**_Sephiroth Quits!_**

Okay, so what happens when our oh so evil resident bish Sephy decides that he's too good for FFVII? The directors get a replacement!

The directors are getting everyone ready for the scene where Cloud and Sephiroth are at the Mako Reactor when Sephiroth bursts in holding a sheet of paper.

Unknown Man # 1: Sephy, baby! Why aren't you in make up?

Sephiroth: .......

Unknown Man #2: Oh, he's getting in character!

Sephiroth: Actually, I'm quitting. FFVII doesn't give me enough screen time, and I'm too evil for this plot line anyway. I would rather just go on a big killing spree! *pulls out his Masume and strokes the blade lovingly*

Unknown Man #1: Uhm...but you do get to go on killing sprees. Several, actually.

Sephiroth: .......oh. Well, I'm still quitting. There's this show that's willing to pay me three times the amount that you guys are giving me anyway. *leaves*

Unknown Man #1: NOOOOOOO! *drops to his knees dramatically*

Unknown Man #2: *slaps Unknown Man #1* get a hold of yourself! We can just get a replacement!

Five minutes later, the cast of FFVII, FFVIII, FFIX, and FFX are standing on the set.

Unknown Man #1: Okay, how about you? *points to Kuja*

Kuja: Alright then...hmm...okay, " Mwahahaha, oh mother, mother.......I love the out fit you wear! It really brings out your eyes!"

Unknown Man#2: What the hell? And what's with your clothes, you look like a woman!

Kuja: heh heh heh...*looks nervously side to side* you have discovered my secret...I must depart now! *jumps out a nearby window*

Unknown Man #1: Next!

Selphie: So, this is your first time being home? Well then... Let's throw a party! Omg, it will be sooooo cool! We can have streamers, and cake, and--

Unknown Man #2: Next!

Zell: Oh Cloud...I wish you knew how I felt about you...

Unknown Man #1: Those weren't the lines I gave you!

Zell: Isn't this the audition for Tifa Lockheart?

Unknown Man #1: That's next door!

Unknown Man #2: What happened to her?

Unknown Man #1: Her implants exploded. Turns out that they were flammable...

Zidane: I never knew my parents. My mother died when I was young and my father...*begins laughing evilly*

Unknown Man #1: Hey, he's good! But he's too short. Next!

Seifer: You all suck and I'm crazy.

Unknown Man #1: Ok, you get a call back. Next!

Garnet: I wish someone understood me. I really don't like to kill people and I truly do regret my--

Unknown Man #2: Ah! Get her off the set!

Rufus: I don't need to say the lines, I mean, I know I'm good.

Unknown Man #2: Rufus, you already have a part in FFVII!

Rufus: Short lived, you mean!

Unknown Man #1: Next!

Rinoa: ..........

*everyone screams*

Unknown Man #1: She's evil enough...

Unknown Man #2: But we want people to play this game, remember?

Cid: #@(^*%£^£#@

Unknown Man #1: Next!

Irvine: I could kill Aeris...but I would rather sleep with her.

Unknown Man #1: Next!

Vincent: Well, I look the part. And if the player doesn't get the chest open, then they never get me in the game in the first place, so why don't you just give me the part?

Unknown Man #2: No. Next!

Squall: ....... I have no emotions, so I have no problems with killing, or yelling, or acting insane.

Unknown Man #2: We'll call you back. Next!

Tidus: Don't you think Sephiroth would be better blonde?

Unknown Man #1: Next!

Kimarhi: Kimarhi likes coa coa pebbles!

Unknown Man #2: .............Next!

Cloud: I'm Selphiroth's clone, remember? Who better to play the part?

Unknown Man #1: Cloud, you're the main character in the game...hwo can you possibly be in a fight with yourself?

Cloud: Observe. *runs to one side* Sephiroth, you killed my family! *runs to the other* Bwahahaha, yes, yes I did. * runs back* You're crazy! *runs to the other again* Bwahahaha, yes, yes I am.

Unknown Man #2: Oookay. *whispers* I think we need another Cloud Strife...

Unknown Man #1: I'll call that Zidane kid.

They both nod

Auron: I have a sword and I'm dead.

Unknown Man #2: Next!

Aeris: *singing with a cane and tux* On the big ship, lollipop, it's a sweet trip, to the candy shop!

Unknown Man #1: Ahh! At this rate we'll never find a Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: I'm back!

Everyone: Yay!

Sephiroth: They wanted me to play some woman on this show called 'Passions'. So I decided that FFVII is better.

Everyone: Yay!

Sephiroth: Who're these people?

Unknown Man #1: Just people who wanted your part.

Sephiroth: Oh. *pulls out his Masume* Well, I'll show them out.

Lagunaz Note: The point of this story is that there is no point.


End file.
